Thursday Links

It's a dreary, cold Thursday in Portland.  We changed the clocks back this weekend and although it was nice to get that extra hour on Sunday, it's now dark when I leave work at 4:30pm.  What a bummer. 

This is the time of year when I have to be careful.  Careful not to slink into sloth-like behavior.  I need to make myself go to yoga, walk the dog, and keep myself busy with to-do lists, projects, and crafts so I don't go insane...and gain 20 pounds in the process.   This is also the time of year however, when I get anxious for Thanksgiving so I can ease my way into a food coma, deck out the apartment in holiday decor, plan awesome gifts for family and friends and soak in the first, beautiful, snowfall.  New England certainly can have it's drawbacks but man, I love it here.


Here are some lovely links from this week:

Interesting article on what children around the world eat for breakfast from NY times.

Really beautiful post on raising a daughter from a dad's perspective

Super excited (and nervous about how it will affect by bank account) for the ABM team and the lauch of their new shop

100 tips on how to destress

Really looking forward to reading this

This news anchor being awkward.  Just give in & admit that you like TSwift.

Wishing this show didn't get cancelled.  Netflix reruns forever.

Can't believe it's been 10 years since mean girls. Also, is butter a carb?

xoxo

So, I'm a wife now

Photo by Cait Kimball Photography

I've been a little busy lately, to say the least.  Planning our wedding, getting married, celebrating, and going on a honeymoon.  Honestly, blogging has been the last thing on my mind.  Priorities, man.  I've been back for the past week and felt the urge to write again.  This blogging thing is a little weird sometimes.  I'm generally a very quiet person.  I don't share much and I have a hard time opening up to people, even close friends; let alone strangers on the internet.  But today, I missed writing and have been thinking a lot about who I am and what I want.  I guess that comes along with the new "wife" title, right?  I'm really glad to not be a fiance or bride anymore.  I get to just be a wife, who isn't always busy with wedding plans.  I can just be normal again.  It got me thinking, though.  What is my normal?  What are my goals for this new stage in my life?  What kind of wife, friend, woman do I want to be? 

There's also a lot of omg I'm married to Andrew!! I'm his wife! he's my husband! kind of stuff going on in my brain too.  I've honestly never felt so much love in my heart than I do now.  It's a bit unreal dancing at your wedding reception and looking around at all of the people you love most, who traveled all this way just to support and celebrate with you.  My heart was bursting with so much happiness.  When it was all over, I felt so content and overwhelmed all at once.  It is the weirdest, best feeling.  Anyway, I'll post more about the wedding and honeymoon eventually.  Once we go through the zillions of photos we took (yes 5 memory cards for the camera was totally necessary for our 2 week trip) and I get back into the swing of things again.

xoxo

Little Letters: Beach, 3 legged dog, & sanity

*photo by my talented man, Andrew.

Dear Spiders:  I can't wait until it's winter and I don't have anxiety about where you may be lurking all over our house and basement.  It will be too soon if I never see you again.

Dear Ingrid:  I'm sorry I'm missing your show at the State this Friday. A girl's gotta eat and right now we can barely afford that.  

Dear Beach Days: please last forever, won't you.

Dear creepy guy at the beach:  Since when is it appropriate to put a fish head in front of someones face when they're trying to sleep.  My friends and I will have nightmares foreverrrrr.

Dear 3 legged dog:  I wish I could've snuck you into my car and taken you home.  You were the happiest dog I've ever seen.

Dear Jersey Sheets:  I don't know how to quit you.  If it weren't for you, I'd actually get to work on time. 

Dear Mom: I miss you and cannot wait for you to visit in a few weeks.  We have lots of outdoor fun and shopping to do! 

Dear Sanity: I miss you too.  It'll be good when I feel like I have you back again.

Dear Self:  Stop being so afraid to dream big and work hard.  

Dear Weekend:  I've been dreaming about you since Monday.  It's me, you, and good book this time around.  Now doesn't that sound nice?

Dear Jenny Lewis:  Your new album is freakin' rad. 

Dear Coffee:  I'm glad Andrew made me finally try you 2 years ago.  You are the perfect start to a gloomy day. 

xoxo.

Growing Up

Last weekend I went home to Massachusetts to visit my parents, pick up the girls bridesmaids dresses, and celebrate my best friends parents surprise anniversary party. My parents were having a yard sale with a few other neighbors on Saturday and mom had pull out all mine and my brothers belongings that they've been storing since god knows when. I didn't have too much. I naturally love to clean, organize, and declutter so I rarely keep things I don't intend on loving forever. I am also extremely sentimental so I may not have all my old soccer balls, games, clothes, etc. but I had 2 boxes filled with journals, artwork, love notes from old boyfriends, movie & concert stubs, every birthday card I've ever gotten from family and friends. Some may call that crazy...which is true, I guess, but I am so glad I'm sentimental and kept all those things. 

 I had such a good time reading through old journal entries, revisiting my awkward middle school years (I "loved" a new boy every day apparently) and remembering old hopes and dream for my future self. Some things made me tear up; like notes from my grandma who passed away a few years ago, some journals during a time in my life when I was incredibly lost, and just general nostalgia. It made me think about how far I have come and also how far I still have to go. I was such a dreamer, then a follower, then completely lost, and then found myself somehow again. Life is a pretty weird, cruel, confusing, beautiful, amazing thing and I am so grateful that I wrote so many thoughts, experiences, and memories down. the good, the bad, the horrible, the perfect. I will cherish them forever (I seriously contemplated burning my middle school diaries though!)

Although, I still write in journals it sparked my interest to write in them more than just once a week - to not feel like I have to have a particularly great story in mind, but to write anything, everything down. for the joy of it; so years and years from now I can reread them and look back on my twenties the way I look back at my teens. And maybe someday my children or grandchildren will read them and see the real unedited me. 

I'm so used to pen & paper that it's been a struggle to remember to post on this blog. One of the main reasons I started this blog though was to document my life and share that with friends, family, and the blogging community. I'd love it if someday I could look back on this little blog and feel the same as I do about my journals. What are ways that you document your life? 

Happy Weekend! xoxo

Scattered

I'm feeling a little scattered lately. too much on my mind. too hard to focus. 

Since I'm a list maker at heart I was inspired when I saw this post from a blog that never fails to showcase all the beautiful details in this world. Work has been crazy with an upcoming event at the end of this month plus my mind is constantly in wedding planning mode. I haven't even begun to really think about the things I need to finalize for our honeymoon, and finances haven't exactly been great lately so budgeting and planning our expenses has been occupying my mind as well. yikes.  I need to go crawl under a rock for a bit. 

Eating / watermelon & cherries. oh summer, you make my fruit loving self so happy. 

Drinking / an iced chai that he made for me this morning (I should go away for a weekend more often! I think he missed me.) 

Practicing / patience and yoga 

Mastering / karate...just kidding...the art of slowly simplifying my home and buying smarter and less often. Learning / how to use my DSLR on manual. it has been a very slow and confusing process. 

Trying / to be a better version of myself. 

Playing / ladderball in the backyard with mom this weekend. 

Finishing / my to-do lists! (wedding list I'm talking to you!) 

Reading / "A Time to Kill". Next on my list is the final book of the Divergent Series and Neil Gailmans new book! Also, I think #GirlBoss would be a great honeymoon read. thoughts? 

Remembering / how lucky I am to have the friends, family, and life that I do. 

Wearing / the cutest pale violet/pink nail polish

Cooking / so many eggs. need to switch it up this week. 

Working / hard to be live healthier 

Traveling / to the London, Scotland, and Ireland in just over 2 months. eeeeek!!!

Wanting / to reprioritze my time so it involves more friend time and beach time. 

What a simple way to put my thoughts and in-the-moment-life down. xoxo

This is how I feel...

...Very very happy! My brother and his girlfriend are visiting us this weekend! We plan to eat lots and lots of food, drink lots and lots of beer, wander downtown, and soak in all the gorgeous sunshine. (with lots of SPF 50!!) Then, my parents will be here Sunday & Monday. Monday, we're playing hooky from work and instead going to our wedding venue for a tasting and event plan walk through. We are also meeting with our adorable florist. Plans are coming together folks and that makes me happy. #1 - because I'm a planner/to-do list freak and #2 - because wedding planning is much more detailed than I could have imagined and I'll be very grateful when my brain can be used for other things. #3 - that means we're getting closer to the day (and the honeymoon!) THEN later next week we are playing hooky again and packing our bags to head to Winterport for my friend's wedding! She is getting married on the 4th of July (pretty sure so she can get free fireworks!). I'm her day of coordinator, so we have lots of fun detailing on the 3rd and a delicious rehearsal dinner at a local Irish pub. It's going to be beautiful and I'm going to cry. I'm such a sap. One more reason? Exactly 3 months from today I will be drew's wife. finally! finally! so. many. good. things. I hope you have lots of good things in your week too. kloveyoubye.

Sundays forever

we have officially deemed Sundays as our "date days". Since Fridays are saved for crashing at home after a long week with nights out with friends Netflix and wine at home, and he works on Saturdays; Sundays it is…our day to do whatever the heck we want!  Last Sunday we went to Boothbay Harbor and this Sunday he surprised me with a ferry ride out to Long Island!

The ferry took about 45 minutes. Is it weird that it might have been my favorite part? Something about being on a boat, with the fresh ocean air, and sunshine is just so good. The pastries and peaches I picked up at Rosemont made the ride pretty freakin' good too. ugh delicious. The only downside was this awkward middle schooler who kept photobombing my pictures. It was cute the first time, but got old...quick. where's your mom anyway, kid?! punk. First stop when we got to the island?  the general store (the only grocery store on the island) for some gatorade and expired gum & blow pops! Next? Explore!  Their beach was heaven. Unlike our beaches, it was quiet and peaceful. There were less than a dozen others there. It felt like we had the place to ourselves. Naturally, he started scoping out shots and clicking away with his camera. I pretended to want to take pictures for a moment, but really I was on the hunt for crabs and other sea life in the rocks. I can't help it. I like to play. I know, I know. I should be practicing & learning how to fully use my DSLR but...ANIMALS! NATURE! NO SHOES! OH MY!  We layed on the beach for a bit and then walked around the rest of the island before catching the ferry home. Long Island is beautiful, but had a bit of that creepy islandy vibe..like..a mystery thriller TV show, where someone turns up dead and the nice sheriff questions everyone and seems so concerned but you find out the nice sheriff is really the murderer and there's no one to turn to and the ferry is unexplainably out of service and you're stuck there so you just run. You still with me? Harper's Island anyone? No? Just when I thought we could be friends. 

The ride back home was nice, but chilly. good thing I like to cuddle. we people watched and laughed and kissed. We hit up Flatbread Co. for the best veggie pizza (mushroom medley, goat cheese, mozzarellla, parmesean, and green onions. drooling just thinking about it) beer, and coffee (to warm me back up). God, that place is amazing. best pizza, fresh salad, and awesome vibe. We walked around the Old Port, window shopped, and walked back up the hill. Then date day took a turn for the worse. And by worse I mean I'm a huge baby and had a really bad sunburn and stomach ache so I complained about having to go get groceries with him and then I cried because riley scratched my sunburnt legs. ughhh I can be so lame. but it's okay because he was so kind and put ice on my burn and kissed my forehead and only made fun of me a little bit. Sunday success!

Sweet Sweet Summertime

Can I just say that summertime is my favorite time. well, maybe. I don't know...I LOVE fall. do I have to choose? summertime is my favorite right now (and when it's fall, that will be my favorite). I've never been good at making decisions. Anywho! Last night was one of those nights. Those perfect summer nights. Because nothing particularly special happened. And summertime is the only time where unspecial nights feel magical anyway. I got home from work, we made grilled cheese (on the panini press because they're sooo much better that way) and watched a movie on netflix. Then we walked a few blocks to the cutest little grocery store, Rosemont. We got peligrino's, a delicious 1/2 & 1/2 cupcake cookie thing, and an almond croissant. We took the long way home, stopped at the Eastern Prom, and sat in the grass drinking, eating, and squealing at how cute all the dogs were (ok, that last part was only me.) I may have been shivering a bit (the ocean breeze was chilly, and maybe I'm a baby, ok!?) but it was fine because he is always warm and put his arm around me. After awhile we slowly got up and trekked home. We grabbed the pup and sat on the stoop outside our apartment while the sun went down. She played, grazed (that's what I call it cuz she looks like a little cow eating grass), and intently stared at all people and noises. I pretended to be Kate from Titantic on the concrete slab on our stairs; with my arms out to my sides and everything, singing my heart will gone, and drew telling me I'm crazy; but I know he really liked it. Then, we did our lame nightly routine (packing lunch for work the next day will be the death of me!) and cuddled up in bed with the windows wide open, ocean breeze coming through, and Friday Night Lights on in the background. Perfect. Summertime. *the pictures with this post are from last week. i don't have pictures from last night because it was too good to stop and take pictures.

The Truth is..

I'm not content with being ordinary; but I'm not sure how to be anything but.

Planning your wedding is overwhelming, strange, a little too much, and beautiful all at once.

Trader Joe's has seriously addicting cupcakes.

There is nothing better than Portland in the summer and smelling the ocean from my doorstep.

My dog dreaming and whining every night is one of my favorite sounds in the entire world.

His hugs instantly make me feel calm; even after my worst of days.

I don't feel like a bride.  I don't think I will until I'm in front of him saying my vows.

I know what I don't want...that's easy.  It's figuring out what I do want that's tricky.

He has the weirdest sense of humor.  The kind that takes you by surprise and makes you laugh from your gut.  It's one of the best things about him.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S is and always will be my favorite show.  Even after having watched the discs so many times that they're starting to skip.

Sometimes grilled cheese and beer at home is so much better than wine and a fancy date night out.

We have lived in Maine for over 5 years and had never been to Boothbay Harbor; until last weekend.  Road trips to new places are what summers are made for.

*all pictures taken by me & Andrew. 

Juice it up, baby

My bridal shower was this past weekend in my hometown in Massachusetts.  I wasn't entirely sure what to expect and felt pretty anxious about it.  Good news is the weekend was an absolute blast filled with fancy drinks, delicious food, lots of sun, gorgeous sunflowers, and some of my very favorite people in this world.   I turned into a big ol' cry baby when my mom asked if I had a good time.  I didn't think I'd get so emotional, but I was just felt so overwhelmed with happiness and love.  

My maid of honor took lots of pictures, but I have yet to see them.  

I'll post some here with more details on the day, once I get them.

SO instead, let's talk about juice.  Oh.My.God.  My Aunt bought us a juicer and it is insane.  

I can't believe how long I lived my life without one.  

We made our first juice last night: 2 green apples, 4 carrots, and 1/4 in of ginger.  

It was bomb.  Do yourself a favor a get a juicer.  Or get engaged and ask someone to buy it for you.

That works too ;) 

Sparks

Sometimes you need to just dress up, put your best glittery headband on, and play outside with sparklers on a random Thursday night.   It helps to have a fiance who is a photographer 

and who always insists on taking my picture.  

These pictures look cute, but let me tell you, there were quite of few weird looks coming our way.

 All in a days work. 

Little Letters: Jenny, Pizza, and Pants

Dear Jenny Lewis -

You made my dreams come true last night by playing at the State Theater.   Your set was unreal.  Your voice is pure magic and you are such a badass.  I love you. 

Dear Rain –
I’m not even mad that you made an appearance today. Mostly because I’m working and I’m selfish. I don’t want others to play in the sun if I can’t. Also, be a love and stay away this weekend. Please & Thank you.

Dear Bridal Shower –
I’m 50% excited for you and 50% feeling really awkward about you. Is it just me or is it weird to have dozens of people watch you open presents…presents that you demanded via a registry… don’t even get me started on how awkward I feel about registries. I hope there’s champagne and cupcakes and lots of hugs.

Dear Office –
Stop being so quiet. I’d like to eat my bagel chips in the comfort of my own cubicle and not have every one listen to me loudly chew.  P.s. I’d like my own office…with a window…DREAM BIG! 

Dear Grey Pants –
I regret wearing you today. You make me look frumpy and boring.

Dear Bright Green Pants –
I’m sorry I neglected you today. I’ll see you tomorrow.

Dear Mel –
Get on that plane faster! Nashville has no business keeping you any longer. You are mine for a full 72 hours starting Friday.

Dear Pizza –
I want to eat you tonight. But alas, we are broke so scrambled eggs and toast it is.

Dear Nose –
I’m sorry I burned you this weekend and now you’re peeling. You look creepy.  (Note to self: wear more sunscreen. this is not a good look)

Dear Andi –
You have horrible taste in men and if I wasn’t obsessed with reality TV I would ban The Bachelorette from my weekly routine. Also, please change my mind about you…pick one of the dorky men and not the “former pro baseball player” who thinks he’s the shit.

A-Musing

 

So my friend Abby totally rocks and she signed the 3 of us (me, her, and Em) up for the soft opening of a new paint bar on Commercial Street in Portland; Muse (do you get the sweet play on words I did in the title now?!...I know I'm so creative.)  

Anyway, I’ll be honest, I was excited but a bit anxious about painting in a group setting with people looking over my shoulder and with people who are far better painters than I. But ya know what? It was freakin’ awesome. It was completely inspring and carefree and fun. There were people there who had never picked up a paint brush before and people (like Abby) who are naturally artistic. No one judged. It felt like a safe place to make ‘mistakes’…if that’s even a thing when we’re discussing art. It was a place to enjoy a glass of wine, learn some a few techniques, and do something new with my girlfriends. Plus the decor was rad and made me so happy. (loving me some marquee sis gns!)

The instructor was super bubbly and lovely. Exactly what you’d expect and art instructor to be like. You could tell she was so pumped to teach us and to see our creative juices flowing. We were given basic instructions (type of brushses, what they do, how to mix paint colors, basic brush strokes) and overall guidelines on what to paint. We were encouraged to change it up how we wanted though; leave things out, add things in, choose different colors, etc. My favorite part (besides the wine!) was seeing how different our paintings came out. Em chose to paint closer to the example, mine was similiar but I added warmer colors, and Abby had a slight artistic crisis halfway through and completely painted something different while still keep in some of the elements. It was also pretty sweet that we were part of the 1st group of “painters” to try out the studio. Abby may or may not have branded the table with our initials to commemorate the occassion…

Nights like last night remind me how healthy and refreshing it is to get out of my comfort zone and try something new; something that makes me nervous. Sometimes I fall victim to my anxieties. I generally worry and have intense anxiety most of the time. Instead of letting that take over my mind; I need to push myself to work through those burdening thoughts because 9 times out of 10 what I am sweating over ends up being something I really loved. Plus I just have the craziest, loveliest friends.

Thoughts

I went for a walk around this gorgeous neighborhood near work today. My poor eyes needed a break from the computer screen, my lungs needed fresh air, and my skin needed some vitamin D. My walk was peaceful – no traffic noise, no ear buds. Just the sounds of nature and my heart beating. I feel unsettled today. Not totally present.

Today has me yearning for bare feet, running through the tall grass, climbing big birch trees in grams front yard, games of wiffleball, reading in the shade, tomato sandwiches at the beach, salty air, big hugs, bikes rides into town for candy and ice cream, bonfires and s’mores, closing exhausted lids and dreaming under the stars.

Lately I’ve felt incredibly nostalgic. I’m missing my youth and the carefree joy that went with it. I’m missing those important people that are no longer here with me. 

Impulse

A lot of my very best decisions have been impulsive – dropping out of college in Boston when I knew it wasn’t right, moving to Maine for no good reason, kissing him for the very first time in my car at 2am during a snowstorm, quitting a crappy job without a back up plan, adopting  a the cutest puppy, the list could go on.  I’m great at making big impulsive decisions that make for big changes without giving it much thought.  Luckily, it has never back fired and it has always ended up being exactly what I needed.  Maybe it shouldn’t be catergorized as “impulse” but very abruptly following my intuition..my gut feeling. The older I get the more confident I feel in the choices I make, the “impulses”, the following my heart even if from the outside it seems insane.  Sure, it could end up being a royal shit show but is there really any other choice? 

What I’m not so great at is impulse purchases.  I am a straight up crazy when it comes to sticking to my budget and saving every cent I possibly can for the future.  Sure, that sounds ultra responsible and grown up but it also leaves me feeling guilty every time I spoil myself with something, which is not very good for my mental health or my life.  I can never just buy myself a cup of coffee without thinking “omg I could have spent that $2.50 on something else.  something better.”  And while that’s sometimes a great thought and has helped me get closer and closer to becoming a homeowner someday…I really need to calm the ‘f down.   I have to remind myself that yeah, I could have saved that $2.50 and spent it on something more useful, but I also work hard and deserve to enjoy a delicious cup of coffee and a walk around the neighborhood with him.  Not every day…but more than never!  It’s nice to be responsible but it’s also nice to remember to enjoy those little pleasures and not feel guilty whenever I decide to spoil myself. 

All this to rambling to tell you a simple story.  Last night on my way home from work I was exhausted.  It was one of those days with a mile long to do list but things just kept popping up.  I worked long hours and felt like I hadn’t done a single thing.  I felt defeated and frustrated and blah.  And that’s when I remember Ingrid Michaelson’s new album had just released. (she just happens to be my very favorite artist and probably the cutest human being alive).  So, I went to Bull Moose and picked up her album on vinyl.  I was so excited and couldn’t wait to get home and listen.  Simple enough, right? But then, while I was trying to fall asleep I kept thinking  “I have a wedding to pay for, and a honeymoon, and I really need to get my hair cut and should have gotten my oil changed 400 miles ago, and mother’s day is coming up, and…and..and.”  Silently, I kept listing every little (responsible) thing I could have spent my money on.  I told him how guilty I felt and he told me to ‘shhh’ and to just enjoy myself…and you know what I should.  I don’t need to buy hundreds of dollars worth of new clothes or go out to dinner every night, but I do get to buy my favorite album and maybe some new scrapbook stuff, and a freakin coffee when I feel like it.

Does anyone else have this constant battle between their responsible side and their impulsive side?   I can’t be the only one!

Happy Hump Day, friends. Also, kudos to Ingrid – this album makes my heart happy. 

xoxo

Kel

Photo source 

It's the freakin' weekend

This weekend was a good one.  One of those weekends where nothing major happened; it was just good. Fell asleep smiling, woke up smiling; good.  I went home to visit my parents and he went off to NYC to assist with a music video.  I missed him, of course.  But sometimes it’s nice to have a girls day with my mom and best friend and walk the dogs with just my Dad.  My parents renovated their kitchen and did some updates in the dining room and living room.  I went home to help my mom put everything back together.  She cleaned up the renovation dust and I of course organized and made things pretty.  We stayed up late drinking wine and talking – a little bit about the wedding, but mostly just stories and little things.   

Saturday was absolutely gorgeous – 70′s and sunny with a light breeze.  My favorite weather.  We spent the afternoon getting Miche fitted for her bridesmaids dress, going out for lunch, antiquing, enjoying our first ice cream cone of the season, and going to my first wedding dress fitting.  It feels so odd wearing a wedding dress; don’t get me wrong it’s exciting and I love it but seriously how am I wearing a wedding dress? I’m like 20 still, right?  It’s very…surreal for a lack of a better term.  Pretty excited to marry him in it.  

After a fun trip home with the pup listening to old mix CDS (remember when All American Rejects were cool!…no?) he and I were finally back together.  We could barely keep our eyes open. He talked a little bit about his weekend in NYC, which included a lot of video time lapses, photos, and very little sleep –  he loved it.  It’s so nice to go away and enjoy our own things, but even better to come home to each other and pass out watching Jumangi.

xoxo

Kel

His & Hers

So, this second post is going to be a bit heavier than I would have liked…but that’s life, right?

Yesterday was an interesting day.  Everything was fine.  Not good. Not bad. Just…fine.  He and I were enjoying dinner and a little House, MD after work (all 8 seasons are on Netflix now! Waddup!)  He said something that wasn’t horrible but for some reason it made me snap.  I unloaded on every little thing that had been frustrating me lately.  Some things were due to him, but most of them were in my own head.  I’ve never been a great communicator; I know that.  It’s something I’ve always struggled with.  I’m trying to get better, but obviously I’m not quite there yet.  We went back and forth about nonsense for a good 30 minutes.  Taking turns letting it all out, raising our voices a bit, stopping and just staring, and then starting up again.  Finally we stopped.  He closed his eyes and laid in bed.  I grabbed my purse and keys.  I didn’t know where I was headed.  I just drove.  I ended up pulling into the venue where we’ll be getting married in 5 1/2 short months.  It’s only about 10-15 minutes from our home.  I just sat there.  In retrospect, I probably looked very creepy sitting alone in that car, with no one around at 10:00 at night. But for some reason, that’s where I ended up.  I didn’t cry, I didn’t scream.  I just sat there staring at the outdoor deck where we’ll say our vows and promise to love each other forever.

The longer I sat there, the more at peace I felt.  I reminded myself of who I am, who I want to be.  Who he is, who he will be and all of the reasons why I love him so.  Sure, we are not perfect. Is anyone?  Our life is messy and unpredictable, and sometimes it’s downright crappy.  But it’s mostly beautiful and exciting… and the thing is it’s our life and I couldn’t imagine sharing a life with anyone but him.

So after I took a breath, I drove back home, parked the car, and crawled into bed with him.  We said a few more words and then fell asleep together.  This morning on his way home from his early morning shift, he stopped by my office and we got a coffee down the street.  We talked for a bit.  We didn’t rehash the arguement or even try to apologize.  We just said I love you and went on talking about normal everyday life.

Is life always easy? No.  Are relationships ever perfect? No.  But finding someone who shakes you to your core, challenges you, knows all your secrets and still thinks you’re pretty damn amazing is really what it’s all about.

Happy Thursday, blogland.  Hope your day is filled with people who love you inside and out. 

Here goes nothing

Hi – it’s me.  This is my first blog post. It feels kind of silly, ya know?

I have wanted to start a blog for about 3 years, but I kept coming up with excuses and wanted to have everything planned out. every. little. detail.  Cuz that’s how my brain works.  I couldn’t just sign up and write a post.  I had to design it; make it look perfect.  Decide what kind of blog I wanted – how personal/unpersonal I wanted to get.  What I should share, what I shouldn’t share.  How many posts a week I should write.  What I would write about.  Then I would get overwhelmed and binge watch How I Met Your Mother.

And today, I thought to myself as I read up on one of my favorite blogs…wow if I had started my blog like I said I would, I would’ve been 3 years in already.  That’s crazy.  Crazy stupid.  So, here I am.  No game plan.  Just me deciding to finally write and figure out the rest as I go.

I think this will be good.

Okay, now that that’s over with…I’m going to make dinner and binge watch How I Met Your Mother.  Let’s do this.

xoxo

Kel